If children wish to go against any of their parents’ commands, they are instructed to ask, “May I make an appeal?” Children are intentionally held to unreasonable standards and punished for their failure to obey even when it is not possible for them to do so. Parents are described as arbiters of God’s wrath against their sinful children. It is recommended to “gently admonish” your child for “minor offenses” such as spilling water. Babies must be fed, napped, and played with on a strict schedule and ignored at first when they start to cry. The book goes as far as to recommend corporal punishment (typically using some sort of tool such as a paddle) to children as young as six months old (there is also a discussion of using rubber tubing to whip an 18-month-old) and “training” babies not to cry by leaving them unattended in their cribs and refusing to give them milk to “train” them against using crying to “manipulate” the parents, something babies are cognitively incapable of. However, it ironically contains very legalistic perspectives and abusive parenting techniques. This book has some redeeming qualities, such as condemning legalism and verbal abuse. Growing Kids God’s Way’s title immediately portrays Ezzo’s disciplinary style as the definitive godly method of parenting, dismissing other forms of parenting whether intentionally or not. We already know from the last article that purity culture began in the 80s and 90s, so when these parenting books came out, they were merely the icing on the cake for many young parents who were experiencing this anti-sexual revolution. My entire upbringing was incredibly strict, with books such as Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp and Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary Ezzo (a member of John MacArthur’s church, which has since dropped its endorsement of GKGW) influencing my parents’ beliefs in authoritarian obedience and discipline. So I decided to take a slight detour to look at the parenting methods that many of our parents were exposed to and used to justify purity culture. My image of love, sex, and relationships was skewed from day one.Īfter a lot of research and thought surrounding my personal experience, I realized that the enforcement of purity culture by parents in particular often stems from the belief that parents’ personal convictions are equal to God’s law and any deviation from or disobedience of parents’ unreasonable standards is a direct sin against God. Loving someone was a stumbling block and merely threatened to plunge me into a world of lust. The purity culture I was entrenched in growing up demonized relationships. Instead, dating (a word frowned upon in my upbringing and often replaced with “courting”) was a one-way road to marriage with no exits along the way. Dating could not be about getting to know someone and figuring out if they are the right person. This perspective destroyed my confidence and twisted my perception of relationships. I saw the contents of my heart as a lump sum, a quantity that could decrease if I made the mistake of loving the wrong person. I suddenly became afraid of liking a girl, much less dating her. Married 'til Monday by Denise Hunter- Your Summer.Picture Perfect Love by Melissa McClone.
Passport to Purity- A Wonderful Weekend to Remember!.If this isn't possible, the material can be completed over a period of four or five weeks. It is suggested that the materials be completed over a weekend away from home, as the child may be more open to discussing the topics away from his or her normal environment. It is designed to be used by a mother and daughter or a father and son when the child is a preteen. Through the shared listening experience, object lessons and guided conversations of a P2P weekend getaway, you can set your son or daughter on a journey of moral integrity - and strengthen the bond between you. FamilyLife developed Passport2Purity (P2P) to assist you in building heart-to-heart communication with your preteen while laying a foundation of purity that will prepare him or her for the turbulent years ahead. The primary defense for your child is a strong relationship with you and with God. Innocence is under attack, and you cannot win the battle with a single awkward talk or a strict set of rules. Your child begins the journey into adolescence in a world of sexting, bullying, online stalking and moral defiance.
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